Thing is, when I awoke in the morning, I remembered it all. Everything. Every part of those two back-to-back dreams. Especially the part about me fighting my friend. And maybe some of you will wonder how I could even recollect accurately, much less make any sense of it all after all of that time had passed since I’d dreamed those dreams in the dead of the night. But no, I understood it all in the light of the morning, quite clearly.
You see, when we hold a grudge. When someone in life has wronged us. And we can’t let go. No, we aren’t harming them. We don’t hurt them. Although we may be able to do this to them in reality. But, the truth is, when we can’t let go of the wrong someone has done to us, no matter how great or small. We are, in effect, at war with ourselves, like I’d been in my dream, perpetually fighting an opponent, who I could never beat.
And so, we’ll go on, playing that perceived wrong in our heads over and over again. Always in turmoil. Always in strife with our own inner souls, who only long to be free of all those negative emotions of anger, hatred, and bitterness. The emotional baggage of the past.
Meanwhile, day by day, month by month, your opponent, the very one who wronged you, will continue to grown stronger in your mind. Bit by bit. Little by little. Until they attain invincibility living free inside your head until the very day when you finally let go of it all and find the freedom of forgiveness in the end.
And so, you will. Because the burden of that hate and anger is just too great to carry around with us our whole lives. Forgiveness for those who’ve wronged you. And forgiveness for yourself, too. For what you believe, or know, you’ve done wrong, but probably isn’t so bad. Hopefully.
And so, we carry on on our journey. As I did that day. Feeling light-hearted and refreshed, walking on my path after having relieved myself of that burden of hate. Of bitterness and rage. Backpacking around. Living the Grayson Highlands backpacking dream.
Living the dream. In peace and happiness. In freedom.
Heck, I even decided to summit Mount Rogers on the way out. Becoming, for one moment, the tallest guy in the whole state of Virginia. Standing on the summit, where I briefly thought about my long lost friend. Hoping and praying that he’d recover, someday, from the sickness, the disease that’s been tearing him all to pieces all of these years. So that’s my prayer for the world, too.
Then, I began my hike back down the mountain toward the trailhead where my journey all started. The tumultuous journey of a Grayson Highlands Backpacking Dream… A dream of anger, hate, turmoil, and strife. Then, mercy, forgiveness. And peace and freedom in my heart, at last.
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Gary Alan
After a long career in the publishing industry, Gary Alan left his corporate job to pursue his next adventures in life as a blogger, writer, investor, fly fisherman, hiker, and traveler. He is the author of the adventure fiction book, 'Big Thunder-Hearted River'.